Tasting happiness :)

I am walking towards the tram station at Jernbanetorget. The snow blizzard of the previous day has left the town powdery white and in a tizz. Everything that had been swallowed down to be forgotten, has been blown up in the air and then burried again under heaps of snow. The sun came out today, only for the few daylight hours, but it did provide some comfort, though not much heat.  My toes are icicles and I can't feel them, but what I am actually thinking is that I need to write.

So much has happened these past months, experiences that I think would stay with me forever and changed me into a different (and happier) person. I have come into a state where I go on autopilot to survive.  I had my routines, my studies, my good friends, my religion ect. but  I think now that I have never really tasted real happiness...until now. I wouldn't say that I am suddenly jumping for joy every second, but something in my mind has shifted.  Something (or let's say rather Someone) told me that you don't have to live like this anymore. There is something much better out there.

I think that I have always had a "rather" good "relationship" with God, but what I've realized is that it just became one of my routines, like brushing my teeth or checking if I closed the door.  But recently it's as if I discovered a whole new world. I have always felt that I needed to get closer to God and have a closer relationship with him, but there was always something in the way. I think I never really took the whole "relationship" thing into context, to get an idea of what that really means.

But, being here in Oslo, and especially meeting all the people at OiC (Oslo International Church) has made me realize what the word relationship really means.  I have made so many wonderful friends there (you all know who you are :)) and they have opened my eyes... Being in a relationship is spending quality time together.  Not planning to spend time together, but actually spending time together.  Sometimes you don't even have to speak and sometimes you need to shut up and listen :)

But I think the thing I learned most is to let go. Recently in December I went luging with friends.  It's a sled that a single person rides through a snowy forest, uphill and downhill, left and right. The steering is sort of like horse riding, except that you also need to lift your foot up as well :) At first I was so afraid and didn't get the steering right at all, but after a while I just started to let go (not my hands, hehe) and enjoyed the ride.  Obviously I crashed and fell a few times, but that's part of the fun.  You just "pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again" :) Maybe this is a stupid comparison for you but it works pretty well for me.

I am always trying to control everything around me, I want things to be perfect and I want to do everything on my own so that I am sure it will be done properly :) And I need to be strong...always. But then I leave no room to God. Where does He fit into the picture? More and more now I know, God has the big picture, He needs to control everything, He knows how to do things properly and He is always strong, even when I am at my weakest point. 

So why do I keep going the way I'm going, if I can have a taste of this (luging :)) life?

9 August - The Norwegian Opera House

I had planned the day before to go to IKEA the next morning.  Oslo has two IKEA's which are located on the west and east side respectively.  There is a free bus that can take you to both, either on the hour or half past. On the way to the shop I saw the sea for the first time...and around every corner it was sprinkled with sailing boats.  I ended up going to IKEA Slependen, the last word translating directly to 'trailing end' (?).   It was the biggest shop I've ever seen or entered.  It sells everything from furniture to kitchenware to lights to garden equipment to bed linen...and actually some food too. And you can actually eat a not-too-expensive meal at their restaurant.  I first ended up on the second floor...furniture...little rooms (kitchens, bedrooms, offices) displaying their products.  I found a cheap-prised mop in one of the cupboards of a kitchen. Eventually when I was too tired to get lost in the maze of it all once again, I asked a person that worked there where I could find kitchenware.  He said I had to go to the first floor. Another big maze awaited me, but I had found all the stuff that I was looking for.  When I got to the counter to pay, the lady told me that the mop I had taken in my first dazed impressions, was only on display and that I could not buy it. I was too tired to enter the maze to fetch another one.  After I paid I found a small kiosk with cheap take-away food...and cheap doesn't really come into the Norwegian vocabulary often. I bought me two thick slices of pizza and a soft drink and CONSUMED it.  To say that a very tired person arrived at my place is an understatement. It started dripping when I was still in the bus.  When I arrived at my place...thunder...and then hail!!After resting a bit I decided to take an early evening stroll (still light though) to the Norwegian Opera House.  It was love at first sight. The reflections of nearby people danced and melted on the smooth walls of the Opera House and the endless, placid ocean greeted it on its right side.  People moved like ants up and down the roof of the Operaen (the Norwegian name of the opera house). A few jazz musicians had an outdoor show there and soothed my tired soul. I decided to walk up the roof (not thinking of my already tired, heavy legs).  When I reached the top I had a beautiful panoramo view of central Oslo and the sea. The best rewarding for such a day!

8 August - The Norwegian Academy of Music

I still had to register at the police station to get my full student visa.  This morning, I was told, the lecturers from the international office at the Norwegian Academy of Music (NMH) would be back from their holiday.  I got up, dressed quickly and headed off to the NMH.  The lecturers were there and could advise me on the registration at the police station.  They also showed me to the practice rooms on the 5th floor.  After my visit to the NMH I headed off towards the police station.  When I got there I had to wait in a row (that the Norwegians call long and South-Africans call shorter).  They resgistered me and told me to be back the next week to fetch my visa.   After my trip to the police station I impusively decided to go for a quick browse in the Oslo City Mall.  It wasn't so...quick.  The mall is huge and I don't think I even saw a quarter of it.  At the mall I bought me some kitchenware and toiletries...and lunch - a ham & cheese sandwich of 25 NOK...mmm.  I headed back to my place top drop off the bought stuff and then back to the NMH to practice a bit.

7 Augustus - Frognerpark

Still getting used to the very odd daylight, (ending at 10pm and starting very early) I still had trouble to sleep a little late.  As it was a Sunday, and I had realized that I could listen to Radio Kansel from here (since I haven't found out which church I would be going to), I switched my computer on and listened to quite a few talks that they had, most of them in Afrikaans.  Outside it was silently dripping, not quite yet raining.  I didn't want to sit at my place the whole day, so I changed into some comfortable clothes, my newly bought rain boots and my poncho. Just before I headed outside the drops of rain started to get bigger.  By the time I got to the tram stop it was very close to pouring.  When I arrived at my drop-off point, I had to figure out in what direction I must go. Luckily, with the help of a few locals, I found my way quite easily.   The rain had slowed down a bit from when I climbed off the tram.  I walked down a street with treetops hugging at the top until I spotted very big gates on my right hand side - Frognerpark.  I went inside.  At my right hand side I found the statue of Gustav Vigeland, the man who made all of the sculptures in the park. Rows of trees greeted me on each side and beyond them in front of me, I could make out a fountain figure and some big sculpture.  I progressed on a path through the trees on my right hand side, hearing the soft howling of gulls somewhere closeby and the hum of an accordion playing melancholic melodies.   At the other side of the trees was a bridge with quite a lot of sculptures on each side.  They were weird and wonderful.  At this stage  the cap of my poncho covering my head anymore, my camera was locked in my wet hands...and the rain was starting to pour.   Beyond the bridge lovely wet rose gardens greeted me.  And beyond them a beautiful fountain made of sculptures.  Beyond the sculpture fountain were more gardens with different colourful flowers. But my camera didn't want to take photos anymore, it had gotten too wet.  As it was definitely pouring now, I decided to turn around and head back to the tram stop.  I could always come back on a sunny day to look at the rest.  When I reached my place I was soaking wet with the garantee of a cold!